Dads funeral was how i expected it. Short but sweet and I loved every moment and Ive cried a million times to the point where I actually feel dry on the inside, like my heart has had the moisture sucked out of it. I can't drink or do drugs to make this go away, I cant find anything that would soothe this. I'm trying but Im struggling. Its so hard without my dad, I just....I just.........want to make Him pay for this. He's taken everything and I need to get it back. This is MY life dammit, wh ydid you have to come in and fuck up everything? I WILL NOT BREAK TO THIS.

Im shattered but alive...and that is all that matters.